Personally, I don’t think I exist

There are those two things.
Corinthian columns Standing on either side of one another, facing the eastern wall behind then, or rather in front of them because they have their backs towards me so i am facing the same direction. They rise illustriously above my head and have stood since aliens created earth-life by an accidental engine explosion over the bubbling primordial ooze. They silently suggest that everything has two sides to it, or that things in general are different from one another. At least, it would seem to say that truth is many-faceted. But, the experience of seeing the columns, no matter what I decide to say about seeing them, is a thing indivisible and unimaginably soft. This fact I take with me when considering either of the edifices. Supposedly, all is one… The column with the big J on it is probably bullshit, while the one with a B engrained into it, I prefer. I know their is no difference and yet I irrationally favor one over the other. I fit nicely into this puzzle, though I am myself the one sent to solve it. I am outside of all this, detached while appreciating that I am inside it as well, and therefore choose which column to stand closest too.

I must conclude from this absurdity that neither columns exist, and that I am not looking at anything at all. I am not even a point of view, though I use my point of view to deny my nonexistence and exert my ego. I am not, even as I exclaim so with a mouth that obviously is. I might have done better to explain the point of this by saying nothing. Thinking nothing might be impossible, but that is because it is not possible to not exist, and therefore makes those who attempt to think of nothing gradually become full of pretentious bullshit. Either that, or he finally shuts the hell up.